It's Not Easy to be a Mummy

Being a Mummy is not easy....Regardless of what they say about the joys your little one brings you.

I'm sure there will be many joy-filled days, which makes every "tough" time worthwhile.

Firstly, when starting to be a Mummy, we have to endure all the body pains, body aches, loss of appetite (for some), nausea, morning sickness, giddyness, breathlessness etc...all that while waiting 40 weeks for baby to pop.

Then, at the "popping" (labour) stage, a Mummy has to endure the painful contractions and the delivery pain (when pushing baby out), and risk complications occuring. And this can last for several hours.

After delivery, a Mummy must next endure the pain from recovery of the delivery wound and bear with recuperating after a traumatic experience (bearing in mind that traumatic need not be a bad thing. Just major changes the body has to go through in a short period.), while nursing her newborn at the same time. During this time, a Mummy has to put up with other pains - engorgement, sore / cracked / bleeding nipples - and still persist through all these, in order to give the best food to the newborn (breastmilk). There is also the sudden change in hormones (which is one factor for post-natal blues) that a Mummy has to contend with. This may take years to recover from.

On top of all these pains, there's the occassional housework to do.

It really is not easy to be a Mummy.

(sometimes, I can't help but feel like "blaming" Eve for tempting Adam with that forbidden apple. If not for her, perhaps women need not go through such pains...)

Time to Wake Up

Mummy's thoughts:-

Perhaps it's the change in hormones. Perhaps it's stepping into this new role called motherhood. Whatever the reason, I can feel the change. The maternal instinct is strong. The "nesting" instinct is strong. I feel very strongly, the need to keep the home impeccably neat and clean, especially for Baby Louisa. Anything that's not necessary or UGLY (asthetics-wise) should be thrown away. Why do I need empty boxes lying around and taking up space? Put things in those boxes? But then I'll never look at the contents if I put them in a box, so might as well just throw everything. (Out of sight, out of mind). Even if I do need boxes, the boxes should look NICE, contributing to the overall welcoming look of the home.

When things look ugly, a few other consequential things/events can take place (isn't this similar to what they term The Butterfly Effect?):

(a) you don't feel like going home, because it's neither comfortable nor welcoming;

(b) as such, your mind and body will never feel completely rested;

(c) hence, you feel tired, restless, unable to focus, all the time;

(d) which would lead to irritated-ness, inefficiency, ineffectiveness, unproductivity (at work or time spent with significant others);

(e) which may also lead to inability to handle emergency situations, if and when they occur.

And one will just sink deeper and deeper.

Throw things away = a waste of money? Maybe. But hey, I look at it as part of the process of clearing up and preparing oneself to make more money. I mean, if (a) to (e) happens, how can one expect to be living a meaningful life, while making more money (being efficient and good at work etc)? When (a) to (e) happens, one will be "fighting" too many battles, that the impportant issues are side-stepped, and life becomes less meaningful. One may end up not achieving as high as what one can really achieve - one's full potential. Then one will fall into depression and start to wonder "How come others can achieve this and that, but I can't?"...etc. Then all the more, one will be wasting money, and wasting opportunities. Who's to blame, at the end of the day?

Strangely, these are the thoughts, emotions, conviction, that the pending arrival of Baby Louisa had awoken in me. How am I preparing for Baby Louisa and providing the best for her? When I can't even get my own act together, properly. Maybe I should have seen all these much earlier. Thank God I see them NOW. I guess part of God's plans for me, through the blessing of Baby Louisa, is for me to wake up. She has shown me something new.

It's time to wake up.

Any time now...

Week 38...and Mummy is 1.5cm dilated! oooohhhh....means anytime now!!

Baby Louisa, please stay inside for at least another 11 days...Mummy and Daddy are not quite ready yet. We haven't quite gotten the Christmas tree up. Your baby cot / cradle is ready, your clothes are ready, your bottles (well, you're not allowed to use bottles till 2nd month) are ready, just that the home is not quite ready to welcome you yet. It's still a bit messy...

The contractions are becoming stronger. It's not painful...just uncomfortable. How does the "uterine massage" (aka contractions) feel on you?

During my last gynae visit, I was strapped to the CTG machine to monitor heartbeat and contractions. Woah, Baby Louisa kept moving during that whole session. Could hear her move. Gynae did an internal check (yucks!! I hate that!! It's painful....aiyoh!) and found that I'm 1.5cm dilated. Almost cried when gynae did that check. I can't imagine having to be checked a few times druing labour, to see if it's time to push...oh my. Couldn't stop shivering/shaking after the check was over. Guess I really need the epidural. What was I thinking of, when I first planned to deliver without epidural. I must be crazy.

On top of the low threshold for pain (all my life, I thought my threshold was rather high...), Baby Louisa is estimated to be 3.2kg at 38 weeks. She seems big. How to deliver naturally without epidural? I must really be mad. hahaha...That's it. It'll be epidural for me.

As the date draws nearer, as it starts to sink in - Baby Louisa will be out soon...., I find myself getting more and more nervous. I'm actually nervous about the whole labour process, something which I've been reading up on. I guess no amount of reading can prepare you enough for it. I afraid of the pain that might come with it! And any complications that might arise....

Oh dear, I need to go back to this and pray...

The past few days / weeks have been extremely hot. It's so hot that I feel like I'm melting. I have to stand in front of the fan when I'm at home. Otherwise, the air-con has to be turned on, regardless rain or shine. Whereas Daddy is complaining it's too cold. Hahaha...So I ended up eating the 2 tubs of ice-cream in the freezer to keep cool ( and also trying to finish them up before confinement, so that the ice-cream won't be around to tempt me during confinement period...)

And...my feet started to swell again!! On Sunday. This is the 2nd time the feet swelled. The first time it swelled, the swelling lasted 1 day. It was gone the next day after I kept drinking water. So, it could be due to the saltier diet I had the day before (salt retains water...). However, the 1st time it swelled, the swelling was much lesser than this time round. This time, my ankles are really fat! And I cannot fit into my shoes!! Fifrst time in the whole pregnancy, feet cannot fit into shoes...hahaha. The ankles ache when press on them. The knuckles on my hands are also aching, especially in the morning. It is as if someone had bashed my fingers while I was asleep. Owwww.....

However, all these experiences showed me how amazing our body is. The body is preparing itself for labour, hence the water retention. During labour, there's hardly any chance of a drink. Besides, you wouldn't want to embarass yourself by relieving yourself at the inappropriate time (not that one can help oneself, during labour. Baby will be pushing against the bladder!). Therefore, the body begins to store water to allow it to function normally during the long labour hours.

Amazing, isn't it? This mechanism created by God...

18 More Days

In summary:-

Baby Louisa is now estimated to be 2.9kg (week 37).

Amniotic fluid is sufficient.

She’s not engaged yet (but that does not mean she won’t come out early).

Gynae visits are now every week. Will be put on the CTG this Saturday to monitor her movements...

We collected her cot/cradle yesterday evening. I want to get her a new mattress. Foam should be better than sponge…The sponge mattress can be a spare mattress.

Should I get her a baby bouncer?

Her present for us on our 1st wedding anniversary – lots of BIG movements throughout the day. Hehs. It was fun watching my tummy move (it always is fun…)

And my confinement ‘nanny’ has not stocked up on the essential ingredients for confinement food yet. What if Baby Louisa decides to come out earlier? Maybe I should just take one day’s leave and go get them myself.

FINAL countdown...Exactly 1 more month!!

Mummy's thoughts:-

It's exactly 1 more month to Baby Louisa's EDD...07 Dec 07.

Have I gotten everything ready? hmmmm....(whips out checklist). Tick, tick, tick,...nope. Not quite ready yet. Gotta get baby soap for Baby Louisa, deco her room (or what would be her room, since she's gonna be in the master bedroom for the first few months...), get more clothes (we've got a few hand me downs, but those are kinda too big for her, I think)

Gotta stock up on all that old ginger, red dates, mee sua, rice...(for confinement).

****

I watched a CNA (Channel News Asia) programme this morning. Yupz, our office TV is tuned to CNA. It was about different birthing methods. The programme was hosted by Lisa Ang and a few mummies gave their experience. It was mainly about alternative birthing methods - hypnobirthing and water birth. I think I will go for the more traditional delivery at the hospital, afterall this is the first child. I have no idea how my body will take to giving birth... However, what struck me in the programme, was what one mother said. She shared about how happy she was opting for that alternative method, because she knew she gave her baby the best present..."by giving birth to him with a calm and relaxed mind" (ok, maybe not the exact words, but something to that extent). But that's it. The best 1st present to give her child was a mother who is calm, relaxed and not fearful of the process. A mother who is not screaming in pain at the process of birthing. Basically, a peaceful birth. Not that other births are not peaceful...imagine this, you are on your way out into this world, and your mother is screaming her guts out at the same time. It does sound like it's a "messy" world to be stepping into. hahaha. But sometimes, it can't be helped.

What she said struck me because I've been quite pre-occupied with worrying about how much pain I can tahan, would I need epidural, would I be screaming my head off etc. But it has never occurred to me to instead, focus on being calm and relaxed during the brith process. The moment I think of giving birth, I'm thinking: head full of perspiration, legs on stirrups, squeezing Daddy's hands, cringing in pain and screaming "I can't take it anymore!"... Hmmm, that shouldn't be the way. The birth process is a unique process, a miracle, enjoyed only by unique people, us FEMALES. So I really shouldn't think about how bad it can be. Rather, I should be thinking about how to enjoy the process. Yes, it sounds like a very tall order, and I do sound unrealistic. Is it a case of "mind over matter"? Hmmm....the moment I think of giving birth, I should be thinking: relaxed process, calm surroundings, my body is just guiding Baby Louisa out into this world.

Time to find a nice soothing CD to pack into the hospital bag to bring into the delivery suite...Hmmm, should I bring the aromatherapy too?

Concerns of an expectant mother

Mummy's thoughts:-

It's been a busy 2 weeks. Lots of work on top of the upcoming move. Before we know, we've come to the end of October. In 1 more week, it'll be exactly ONE month to Baby Louisa's EDD!! How exciting!! (Ok, I'm trying to find some excitement amidst all the work and moving stress...hahaha).

It's really getting uncomfortable...this final stage of pregnancy. I really admire those who can work till the very day they "pop". I thought I could do it too, but now, I'm seriously doubting it. I get breathless and backaches (more of the breathless-ness). Sometimes, I feel as if I need to move around with an oxygen tank. A few days ago, I walked back from The Arcade after buying my snack for tea break (office is located in the building just next to The Arcade). The moment I stopped at the lift lobby to wait for the lift, I found myself panting...really hard. My goodness, how tough is it to just buy a snack to satisfy the stomach?

During my second trimester, I was very brave (I think). I decided for myself that I wouldn't need a confinement lady to help me with confinement. Afterall, what does a confinement lady do? Wash the mother's clothes, baby's clothes, cook for the mummy, help with handling baby. So that mummy can rest and recuperate well and focus on taking care of baby. Now, that doesn't sound too tough, does it? So why do we need to engage one? Daddy will be having his school hols then, so, Daddy can help out. Got a recipe book for him to follow (Daddy can cook!). We can handle the baby together...we just need to PLAN it well (e.g Daddy takes the day duties so Mummy can rest, while Mummy takes the night duties, so Daddy can rest. How's that?), read up lots and encourage each other lots. That's not too difficult, isn't it? =) And so, the decision was NOT to engage a confinement lady. (can save $$ too).

Well, being in the most tiring phase of the pregnancy now, I'm having second thoughts (but it's kinda like, there's no backing out anymore...hahaha). Will I really be able to handle Baby Louisa by myself? What if she cries incessantly? What if I'm too tired to do the night feeds? What if I don't hear her cry in the middle of the night? Of course, everybody has got to start from somewhere. Nobody knows how to handle a baby, instantly. It's always with much practice. Getting to be a bit worried....but, let's keep positive, yah? We can do it!

Baby Louisa, we can do it together!! You're a good gal, right? So we'll get through this together. Yes!