Time to Wake Up

Mummy's thoughts:-

Perhaps it's the change in hormones. Perhaps it's stepping into this new role called motherhood. Whatever the reason, I can feel the change. The maternal instinct is strong. The "nesting" instinct is strong. I feel very strongly, the need to keep the home impeccably neat and clean, especially for Baby Louisa. Anything that's not necessary or UGLY (asthetics-wise) should be thrown away. Why do I need empty boxes lying around and taking up space? Put things in those boxes? But then I'll never look at the contents if I put them in a box, so might as well just throw everything. (Out of sight, out of mind). Even if I do need boxes, the boxes should look NICE, contributing to the overall welcoming look of the home.

When things look ugly, a few other consequential things/events can take place (isn't this similar to what they term The Butterfly Effect?):

(a) you don't feel like going home, because it's neither comfortable nor welcoming;

(b) as such, your mind and body will never feel completely rested;

(c) hence, you feel tired, restless, unable to focus, all the time;

(d) which would lead to irritated-ness, inefficiency, ineffectiveness, unproductivity (at work or time spent with significant others);

(e) which may also lead to inability to handle emergency situations, if and when they occur.

And one will just sink deeper and deeper.

Throw things away = a waste of money? Maybe. But hey, I look at it as part of the process of clearing up and preparing oneself to make more money. I mean, if (a) to (e) happens, how can one expect to be living a meaningful life, while making more money (being efficient and good at work etc)? When (a) to (e) happens, one will be "fighting" too many battles, that the impportant issues are side-stepped, and life becomes less meaningful. One may end up not achieving as high as what one can really achieve - one's full potential. Then one will fall into depression and start to wonder "How come others can achieve this and that, but I can't?"...etc. Then all the more, one will be wasting money, and wasting opportunities. Who's to blame, at the end of the day?

Strangely, these are the thoughts, emotions, conviction, that the pending arrival of Baby Louisa had awoken in me. How am I preparing for Baby Louisa and providing the best for her? When I can't even get my own act together, properly. Maybe I should have seen all these much earlier. Thank God I see them NOW. I guess part of God's plans for me, through the blessing of Baby Louisa, is for me to wake up. She has shown me something new.

It's time to wake up.